...when another year starts....
It doesn't feel like a far-fetched event -- this picture just feels like the other day. Just about a month to go and it's another year. Twenty-seven days to go and it's Christmas.
Where have all the days gone? Why have time seem to pass by so fast? What have happened, what have I done, where have I been, where am I going?
A new year (and make that Christmas, too) offers us an idea of new hope, new life, new beginning. It makes us want to start anew, write new resolutions, create new goals, and refresh our lives. It gives us some energy to re-live our lives again, even if we can do that anytime throughout the year, anyway.
However, the daily struggles in life typically prevent us from living a "new" life each day. Plans remain plans, even if they were set months before a target "new life," and even though they were set to coincide with literally the new year we all celebrate.
Case number 1: My Roommate -- She does not deserve her job
What I mean is, she may love what she is doing, totally capable of delivering outputs, respected by her boss because of her work, but she's not receiving a good pay and her brain's suffering in a way.
I know that she's smart. She has the heart and passion to do something good for this country - either through research or teaching or even social work. But, sad to say, stuck in a semi-corporate job with enough earnings to feed herself daily (and some going to her family.)
In a decisive act, she declared months ago that by the start of the new year - 2009 - she would already have resigned from her current work and working in another company, in a job she would make her career.
Yet, it's already December in a couple of days but she hasn't started looking for that new job yet.
Case number 2: Yours Truly -- The ever confused girl
When I accepted this job last June, I said to myself, "At least I have a job until December, with good pay." Previously, my contract with another institution would have lasted only until September. Still project-based, I was not afraid to go jobless.
With works to extend the project through other funding institutions, I was faced with the question, "If we get funding right away, should I stay, or should I leave?" That was and is not an easy question for me.
See, I am not afraid to lose a job. I am actually "thrilled" to experience a rather challenging day-to-day existence for I have lived comfortably for my entire life. But it is not practical, especially given the "financial crisis" besetting the world, which I can't feel by the way.
I also am not enjoying my work that much. My boss knows that I want to teach, and wonders why I am not doing anything to do just that!
Weeks or months ago, I said to myself that I'd take masters next year, then live with a "come-what-may" attitude for the first half of year. Then for the first half of the year, I can either teach or volunteer. Yet, I am not even sure how I will finance my graduate study since I am just hoping and wishing that I'd get a scholarship.
Yet again, it's already December in a couple of days and I haven't submitted applications or letters of intent to work as an instructor or volunteer. Though I have started searching.
Plans, plans, plans. The daily grind distracts me from doing what I have planned. Anyone can be distracted. It takes great courage to overcome those distractions - or fear. Since those plans typically involves change, it is difficult to execute them. Change, as they say, is the only constant thing in this world (or is it?). But people are not open to change. Why trouble your life to do change your life when you are surviving the daily grind, anyway?
But it is not bad, it is not crazy. Changing (for the better) and challenging myself is actually good. I like it. It adds spice to my life. For my personal growth.
--- This blog post is a reminder to myself that I should do something NOW. Not just start searching for a job or a volunteer opportunity. Happy Holidays! :) ---
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